Good night ginger nut.

Feeling a little sad today, more like an emtional monkey. Just when I
Really can't think anything could get any worse, my poor ginger nut died
Today.
She was a floppy eared rabbit, big and cuddly, saying that since she got a little bit older she wasn't so
Keen on being picked up. She liked being in her own space and making lots of thumping nosies. She had a temper like a stroppy teenager, very fussy with what she ate, a bit like me
Really.
She was brought for me my my little sister as baby, I recently had a girl called blossom,
Who died suddenly of a fright. She wasn't a replacement but she helped me heal broken heart after the awful guilt feeling of blaming myself over blossom. She cheered me up no
Ends and watching her grow was
Fun- shed always be eating my wires and cables- am surprised she never got an electric shock. She ate the buttons out of my controller and would wee on my bed in the same spot. She was a little monkey.

Today I found her dead- she was fine one minute and dead the next- I can't work out what happened to her. I couldn't spend much time looking at her either because, it was so warm the flies were hovering over her and were laying eggs on her. It was so horrible,
Couldn't give her a big cuddle as she was all stretched out and hard. She's one big rabbit tok which doesn't help-
Got her buried and now she's at rest. Hope she finds woody and all the other animals from my garden.
My garden is now officially an animal
Cemetery, not only fish, guinea pigs, rabbits but lambs and woody too,
Not to mention any other pets from
Previous house owners. I burried her next to Apollo- he was a big fluffy white rabbit which lived for years and years- he grew up with us kids. Free ranged and loved being under the hair dryer :) normally this would
Scare most rabbits, but he was one of
A kind. I'll never forget him.
We also have tango under the tree next to them, belonged to Laura. With woody i have, fudge hogan- he was a funny little guinea pig, smudge, my black rabbit, he died at about 5 years old, splash who belonged to mum and died suddenly one day too and then blossom. The other side of woody is gorge, he was a Blackmore fish who turned orange, he was really Kool. Next to him is caramel and then cadbury, both hamsters.
These have all been the main animal in my life over the past 10 years of
Not that.
I've become such a animal lover, I always was, but since being older and being the only kid at home, having animals gave me some company. It was good fun, they all seemed to bond together in there times together.
Fudge, smudge, splash and tango for example were all here in woodsy era,
Once he went, the others went one by one. Now I hope they are running round the garden having so much fun:)

Last night. Home tomorrow.

I can't believe this holiday is coming to an end. I am actually really Sad about it. The home is so cosy, the week has been so relaxing and nice, maybe the weather hasn't been perfect, but it's been a good week.

Holiday time.

So, I am currently spending a week on holiday up north, in the wonderful Yorkshire, staying in Whitby harbour. beautiful place, friendly people and great atmosphere.

Whether its raining or not, you can still guarantee to have a good time. You can walk around the same place over and over, everyday and still not get bored of it.
Weve been coming up here for a few years now, saying that we've my actually been up as family for about 6 /7 years. And I remember the last trip like yesterday, the last night we went down the beach, we had a good paddle in the sea and I decided of go a little bit further out. Great :) the good old life boat came and picked me up. What a laugh, sometimes you've just got to let your self go and have some fun. Which was exactly what I did, the boyfriend I had at the time wasn't impressed with me, stating I left him on his own with my family, which personally I can't see is a bad thing? I just guss back then he didn't like being stuck with them? Anyway- the old life boat was actually holding a private party which made it even more funnier, or so we all thought. Not sure if the customers found it funny but hey Jo- it's not often you can say you get picked up at sea by the old life boat.
Since coming back up with mum, having a trip on the old life boat, Barry who owns it had remember it all and told the fellow people on the boat ride what happened, we were all laughing.
Made me realise how much I miss being younger- not that I'm old but being 27 isn't exactly young is it.

But anway- what we hadn't realised what that it had actually  caused some drama- people who were looking in view thought I had fallen out and was being rescued- other people thoughts I'd gone too far in to sea and couldn't swim back. you name it. Poor Barry had people on the phone, the media after him, made him look like a hero actually. It's got to make you giggle :) always me
Causing trouble. It's been great to come back here. You can almost forget about everything, forget about the miserable world that we live in back home, forget about how we mate dad and all the shit going on, getting away from the farm and just having some freedom. don't get me wrong, I love the farm but we all need a break at some point Dont we.

Day 50

Yipeeeeee. Richard is half way though his 100 days.
Can't believe I've not written on here for a while, sorry I've been abit lame. It's been really busy, and Richard is doing really well which is a bonus.
Feel sad for him as he's getting really fed up and bored and it's not like we can just get up and do something, it's so frustrating. Oh well, we will get there eventually.

50 days roughly until richard has his next scan and when hopefully we will find out that is has kind of worked. I'm not thinking about it much though, there's no point. There is no point in worrying about all of this before we even know.

Still no signs on the missing chicks s, I've even joined a few chicken sights and looks as thought everyone has had the same problem with there first baby chicks, so all I can do now is learn from my experience and be Extra careful in the future.
Looking at buying more chickens and even some ducks for the farm. It's so exciting. I even saw some tiny baby pheasants this morning too. I love animals and nature. But I love fashion too, I just don't know where my heart is telling me to go with my future. Why can't life be simple huh.

day 41. Olympic Torch Day. It's a family drama.

it's been another one of those stressing days. I swear what ever i did in my past life is truly smacking me in the face now. Everything i do or touch turns to bad luck, like everything.

Yesterday morning i went to the farm, only been down Sunday night, went back to double check on the baby chicks as they were being a little naughty earlier and were sleeping out side, didn't want to try and drive them in so thought i'd just leave them and pop down later. so i did, all what appeared to be in there, snuggled up in the mum. I don't 100% know if they were there, but normally they are so i wouldn't ave thought twice about it. Anyway, Monday morning i slept in, so i didn't get to the farm before having to take grandpa to the hospital, so by the time i finally got down it was about lunch time, nearly 12pm. Went to feed the baby chickens to discover they were un uaslly all in side the house bit, then to discover there was only 4 baby chicks, half expecting the other 2 to be out side the pen, but they were no where to be seen. Okay, so i thought, better not panic too much they've just gone for a wonder, ill come back later and they will be back... Nope no sign of them, this is very un usal for baby chickens, they don't go very far from the mother and if they do they come back quickly. Okay so not much i can do, how ever guilt piled over me when i realized today i could have prevented this by putting the chicken wire back down. earlier on in the month, i went down to find that all of my baby chicks were out, so because i've never been in this situation, i panicked and tried to get them all back in, thought it was the best thing to do but i ended up driving a little black one way- stressing as i do and went to work in a sulk. A couple of hours later he had returned, so initially i thought these two would do the same. Really hoping that last night they'd be Hungary and cold that they would male there way back, sadly this morning there was no sign and the baby's mother was so distressed- she was chasing the babies away, so very bizarre, grandpa who had breed chickens for years has never come across this behavior and has no idea whats going on. I only find out that dad saw a kestrel hanging about in the vegetable garden which is behind the buildings to where my baby chicks are so not sure it would come in land that much but who knows hey. Grandpa thinks they've been taking by a prey of some sort, could even be a crow. its so distressing, it came to my mind to put the wire down and yet it just totally slipped my mind and after my sleep, its all my fault they are gone. Some people wouldn't really understand my stress in this, and i don't expect them too. I have a farm, well it belongs to my grandparents, have always dreamed on taking it on and re -opening it, so when  i had my first every baby animals, i was over the moon. This was a beginning to my breeding life, so excited.oh well, i did what i could and thought i was doing my best at letting them have a sit in the grass. unfortunately its nature, and life will always be smacking me in the face with some punishment. Its been a funny day, the adult chickens who are always out side in the run have been acting very strange all day, i can't work out why or what has brought this on. They were chasing the babies all day- it was actually quite stressful, i just hope the poor little buggers have been allowed back in and are all snuggled up inside rather than sit out side in this cold and rain - who's had thought it was July!

#

the 2 chicks on the right, a grey one and yellow head with black, sitting next to the little black one have gone :(

So with all that drama, my poor granddad fell over at the weekend and managed to fracture his bone in his neck some where. normally they would put a collar around your neck and leave you to mend, but because he had a severe car accident, he's got a metal rod in his spine, so this meant he was sent back to Addenbrooks in Cambridgeshire and is now wearing a metal head frame to get him back in shape, says he's a lot more comfy so fingers crossed its not on for too long.

Since all this bad luck is happening, i can happily say that Richard is doing okay at the moment. he went for a check up yeasterday and is doing well, they even brought his steriods down to 20mg instead if 30. hopefully he wont keep eating as much now, as he's become a big piggy.


We had the Olympic torch come by today, was interesting but was over in no time.....

i hate Saturdays!

Saturdays are most defiantly becoming my bad day. I dread it every week, i go to work, feel depressed, miserable and generally fed up. Its always the worse day of the week and its always the day that things are guaranteed to go wrong or will happen.

Yesterday i woke up, did the usual routine go toilet and get dressed ect, feed the fish and check on cadbury, only to fine him laying on the floor dead.... his mouth wide open. I can't quite figure out how he died, he was over 2, which i believe is old for a hamster. He had a bit of saw dust stuck to his tongue, didn't look long enough to choke on but as i noticed it i had to get it out, even though he was dead. I couldn't leave it there, and with those long teeth, it was actually harder to get out, it was stuck to his tongue. I couldn't believe it, this time last week he was running up down in his ball, kept getting stuck in a hole, so i would constantly be getting him out for him to only run back in to it, but he was still lively as ever. I saw him on Friday, he seemed okay, i noticed when i called his name several time he took a while to come out of his little nest fest, but he did. I fed him with his fave vegetables and he ate all them, seemed okay. I gathered he must of; either had a stroke or died peacefully, but i cant see he died too peacefully or that would have heppened in his sleep and he wasnt in his bed. he was laying on the floor, not far from his food bowl but under the ladder... its very strange, i'm guessing he had a stroke and when he took his last big breath when he died the saw dust flew in his mouth? sounds logical right? oh i don't know, people will think i am mad fussing over a hamster. But he wasn't just a hamster, he was rather intelligent for any normal hamster, never bit me once, and always came out when i called his name, none of my other hamsters have ever done this. he was just one of a kind i suppose, and i am really going to miss him.