Not Long.

So, this week Richard will have his next CT Scan. This will see if the Tumour has grown any more, and if they can get to it to do a biopsy. It seems as though its coming around too quickly and to be totally honest I'm not at all ready for him to go back in to hospital.  I don't feel ready for anything at the moment. There's so much going wrong and bad things happening I'm finding it so hard to come to reality about anything.

My poor grandpa has been poorly and my grandma's memory is becoming so bad, it so hard going to visit. I've got to the stage where i can't really remember her as she was when she was normal. come to realise she's been like this for 2 years and it's suddenly just got so much worse. My brother is the only one can helps me through it in away, he knows what they are like. He seems so strong where as I just have to try not to cry, I don't know how he does it at all. 

Nothing seems to be going right at all, its just complete rubbish. Its baking day tomorrow so no doubt that will cheer me up :) 

1 year a go today.

Happy birthday to Richards stem cells. 

This time Last year Richard was getting Ready to have his Stem Cell Transplant. Richard has lymphoma, where the cancer is in his blood. This isn't as common as normal cancer, which in a way has been really interesting because it's not something you get to know much about unlike normal cancer. Saying that there are so many and so many different treatments, its unbelievable.

A year a go today Richard had his own Stem Cells put back in to his body hoping that this would work and his cancer would not come back. This was the longest and scariest thing that I have ever done in my life. He got sick, poorly, better, poorly, went up and down like a yo yo. It was so scary but he got through it in the end. It's been a good year, he's recovered and about got back to normal, as normal as can be i'll say. But its been great, we've been on holiday twice, taken a little trip up north, had some little adventures and just had some fun whilst he could.

Unfortunately it looks as though this transplant didn't work and that his cancer may be growing back in a new place. It's a very slow progress so were just playing on the waiting game at the moment. Its so scary to think that he might have to go through this all again  but with donar transplant which is a lot more serious that his last transplant. I dread every day, but i try to make the most and have as much fun as i can with him. I'm just so afraid ths at each day could be the last and then he might not recover. I am normally and high positive thinker, and I believe that I still am, its just something people will never understand unless they have been in the same situation.

 

                                         

Richard's stem cells ready to go back in. 

something smells like cooked sweetcorn and Tomato soup... 

Majorca.

Holiday 

I have not long got back from a last minute holiday to  Spain with Richard and his family, saying family i mean alan  (his brother) and his mum. We went to the lovely island of Majorca, and when i say lovely, it couldn't have been any better. It was even my first proper holiday in proper heat and well a proper holiday in general. It's all about sunbathing and spending time on the beach apparently, i wouldn't know. I tend to venture around the Uk going on lots of little adventures.

Happiness.

Its when you look at the fun times, that you wish these moments could last forever.