A new Beginning.

Today is a new begining and a new start. Richard starts the new chemo drug today. i really hope it is as good as they say it and that he starts to feel better sooner rather than later. he needs it so much. 


today is where it all begins, the long road to recovery has begun.....

Good News.

We won the appeal :) I am so so happy, the news couldn't have been any better than it was. Now we are just waiting for the slow Americans to get there slow butts moving with the new drug, so Richard can finally start to feel better soon.


Richard is still really struggling, his heart is still very high and he's still going in for his monday, wednesday and friday check up. Hoping this will be the last week of visits and really hope that next week he can start his new treatment. I am desperate for him to start this now, its just so hard and straining looking after him and just being there for him in general. No one in the world has any clue just how mentally tiring it is.

just got to keep on going and keep on smiling....

Cancer

Being with some one who has cancer is a big scary emotional rollercoster. You just never know what's going to happen, what it will be like or what to expect. You never know what they're going to be like, if there going to be full of energy, or too tired to get up, whether they are going to be happy, sad, angry or fed up. You never know what to say or do to cheer them up because deep down nothing does the trick. You never know what to expect when you go to another hospital visit, whether it is good news or bad. You just never know what's going to happen in that second, that minute, that hour, that day, that week, that month or that year. You never know how to smile because you know deep down or they think about is cancer and nothing else. 

updates on appointment.

So, Richard's appointment on Wednesday wasn't too bad. His CPR has gone up ( some thing to do in his blood) and he had to be sent down for a chest X-ray. Results showed that his lung was getting worse and because of CPR they decided to put him on some antibiotics and he was allowed home. He had to go back on friday for another check up just so they can keep an eye on him. I was working so I didn't go with him. As far as i am aware all was okay, His CPR had come down a bit so that showed the antibiotics were working and that there is some kind of infection going on in there some where- in his lungs. He was also sent home as they did not want to keep him in case he catches a hospital bug. He's getting worse and at the same time they need to be getting on with things but they can't do anything until we get the yes or no for the drug. What I didn't realise was that the new Drug doesn't have a license yet either, so I think that's taking a little bit longer to get the answer. I'd like to hope anyway.

Richard has got another appointment tomorrow for another check up and blood test. Also hoping we get the answer and hope that this week they will start the treatment which will make Richard so much happier. I really hope so.....

another visit to the hospital.

Tomorrow is another day and another visit to the hospital. This week has been a struggle and poor Richard is having his ups and down and is really struggling. I wish they would hurry and agree to have this new treatment so he can finally be happy and cheer up again. I hate seeing him so sad and so miserable. It's so unfair.

So long as everything goes okay tomorrow morning, we are going to go to my local garden centre to see the Christmas stuff. :) try and get in to some of the Christmas mood is well and truly needed. Most of all some happy time and fun with Richard is very much needed. :)

<3 

Happy Memories

Being cheeky as always . But i love him for it. 

times get hard but we always smile.

it is so hard to believe that this was Richard 2 and a half years ago when he was first diagnosed with his cancer, and before we even got together. Never did i think back here would we get together any time soon...

So as time goes on, Richard has been so brave and so positive but now he's just so the opposite.  So fed up and i wish i could just take it away and make him better. I hate seeing him so sad, it's not him.

recent updates

Its been another funny week, Richard has another appointment last week and got some good news and some not so good news. His Lung results all came back clear, which is good, However just puzzling as we don't know whats causing all the grief in his lung. We can only assume it's his lymphoma... still the biopsy results came back clear, they did say it was very unlikely that they would get any of the lymphoma anyway. So, i guess that was all to be expected.

He is now due to start on some chemotherapy before he has his transplant. However, the chemo that they want to give him is so bad it ruins all of his kidneys, meaning he and his kidneys will not recover before the transplant meaning a lot more risk and him less likely to make it though. 

There is another type of Drug which has not long come out and has been proven to be a good success which we knew they were experimentation then richard has his last transplant. Its all good news but fortunately  because its known to work the drug is no longer free and cost £3,200 per an injection and Richard needs 8. That's a lot of money to find, so the hospital have put in an urgent request/appeal to get it paid for. We have just got to pray and hope we get some good luck, If not i have no doubt that we can do as many fundraising events to get as much money as we can. 

another week.

It's been another week already, i can't believe how quickly time keeps flying by. it's mad. Richard how ever has had a reasonably good week. He was allowed home on Sunday which was wonderful. We went to some fire works at Twinlakes on Saturday night and it was just perfect. It couldn't have been any better, like everything in the world had just paused for 5 mins and nothing else mattered but Richard and I. I was so happy but so emotional, i have no idea why but it was a night that i will never forget. The fire works were perfect and just being close to Richard felt like everything was just normal for a bit again. It really was just amazing in every way. :)

Richard has his appointment on Wednesday for his lung results. I forgot to mention he had to go in to Glenfield during last week to have a camera down to his lung to see whats going on. Went on for what seemed like forever but i didn't go as it gets akward with too many bodies so sometimes i feel its just easier if richard and his mum go to these things. He was one sleepy baby when i finally saw him that night and then went a little bit wierd the following morning, so it took a bit of time for him to return to normal though. Just hoping all goes okay on Wednesday and i guess we will find out what happens next....


<3