Tuesday 4th June
I should be fast asleep by now, i am so so tired but i seem to have become wide awake that if i even tried to sleep it wouldn't happen for ages.
Have had a lovely weekend celebrating the Queens Diamond Jubiliee. It's been fantastic, watched bits at home and bits with richard in hospital, and we even did our own jubilee picnic at home last night with gran and grandad, laura and eddy, and mum and dad. It;s been great. And to top up the Good news the doctor said to richard yesterday morning that he could come home at the end of week - which would have been fabulous but unfortuntaly last night he picked up an upset tummy and has been a poorly boy today and tonight.
He was all upset and very emotional tonight. I can't imagine, or begin to even try how he must be feeling. I only understand how i feel as does he. No one on the outside understands or can even try too, its a very hard and at most of the time a very lonely thing to go through. Were going through it together, and i spose we can kind of see how we both feel but we literally keep each other going. people on the outside try but sometimes i feel like saying please don't bother, not to be mean cruel or horrible its just because i know they try to help but deep down it really doesn't. People just don't know.
Richard was having a little chat with me tonight, we've agreed that if anything happens to him and if he doesn't make it that i have control over his sperm bank. it's so weird to even think about it, but knowing i've got that part of him that could potential carry him on to a new person would be fabulous to feel i could still have his child and part most of all have part of him. We always talk about marriage and that, but he says now he wants to more than ever. whether he gets better or not, we are going to get married... well, i think you might want to propose first sunshine :P
good night x
I should be fast asleep by now, i am so so tired but i seem to have become wide awake that if i even tried to sleep it wouldn't happen for ages.
Have had a lovely weekend celebrating the Queens Diamond Jubiliee. It's been fantastic, watched bits at home and bits with richard in hospital, and we even did our own jubilee picnic at home last night with gran and grandad, laura and eddy, and mum and dad. It;s been great. And to top up the Good news the doctor said to richard yesterday morning that he could come home at the end of week - which would have been fabulous but unfortuntaly last night he picked up an upset tummy and has been a poorly boy today and tonight.
He was all upset and very emotional tonight. I can't imagine, or begin to even try how he must be feeling. I only understand how i feel as does he. No one on the outside understands or can even try too, its a very hard and at most of the time a very lonely thing to go through. Were going through it together, and i spose we can kind of see how we both feel but we literally keep each other going. people on the outside try but sometimes i feel like saying please don't bother, not to be mean cruel or horrible its just because i know they try to help but deep down it really doesn't. People just don't know.
Richard was having a little chat with me tonight, we've agreed that if anything happens to him and if he doesn't make it that i have control over his sperm bank. it's so weird to even think about it, but knowing i've got that part of him that could potential carry him on to a new person would be fabulous to feel i could still have his child and part most of all have part of him. We always talk about marriage and that, but he says now he wants to more than ever. whether he gets better or not, we are going to get married... well, i think you might want to propose first sunshine :P
good night x
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