Everything was going so well, Richard has been doing so well, we've not had any bad times that I've not had anything to write about. For once it seemed like life has been normal, He even got the all clear. Cancer free, the american treatment had worked. Every one was happy, Richard was happy, I was happy. It was a big weight of the shoulders.
Sadly yesterday we found out that Richards Cancer has grown back, and it has grown quite rapidly since his last treatment dose. His last treatment day was 21st March, and he had his scan which showed it was all gone and cleared. His Transplant is due on the 23rd may. He goes in to hospital on the 15th may, so the sad bit is he will miss my b'day. My birthday is on the 16th, and i cant even really go and see him either, as he will be having his hipmen line put in and then he will start his chemo treatment. He will have this everyday up until his transplant. It's brilliant the the Bone Marrow Transplant is going ahead at last, but so scary because its come rounf so quickly and now richy and i cant really do much and i feel like we've missed out on the free fun time we should have been having, and we haven't/ Now its too late to do that, as he cant risk getting anything before he goes in.
I am so devastated, I'm so scared, I've been trying to block it out for so long. It seemed so easy to just forget about it and carry on. But now it has the all go ahead, everything is in place, i feel like I'm on a break down. I feel so lost, the thought of all of this is so frightening. And the worse bit is that people just dont have any idea, they try to help but sometime i wish they didn't open their mouth. They cant tell me its going to be okay, they don't know.
Sadly yesterday we found out that Richards Cancer has grown back, and it has grown quite rapidly since his last treatment dose. His last treatment day was 21st March, and he had his scan which showed it was all gone and cleared. His Transplant is due on the 23rd may. He goes in to hospital on the 15th may, so the sad bit is he will miss my b'day. My birthday is on the 16th, and i cant even really go and see him either, as he will be having his hipmen line put in and then he will start his chemo treatment. He will have this everyday up until his transplant. It's brilliant the the Bone Marrow Transplant is going ahead at last, but so scary because its come rounf so quickly and now richy and i cant really do much and i feel like we've missed out on the free fun time we should have been having, and we haven't/ Now its too late to do that, as he cant risk getting anything before he goes in.
I am so devastated, I'm so scared, I've been trying to block it out for so long. It seemed so easy to just forget about it and carry on. But now it has the all go ahead, everything is in place, i feel like I'm on a break down. I feel so lost, the thought of all of this is so frightening. And the worse bit is that people just dont have any idea, they try to help but sometime i wish they didn't open their mouth. They cant tell me its going to be okay, they don't know.
I love Richard to bits and I'm so sad to read your blog it must be so hard. If you ever want some company please just let me know, Blake and I would love to come make you smile! (he's very good at making people smile!) big love babe xxxxxxx
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