cancer.

I hate cancer so much. It doesn't just change the little things in life, it changes everything and I mean everything. Even you friends forget about you, your life changes over night, nothing is the same, normality goes out of the window. People think it is so easy to just say, "its going to be okay, he will be okay" but the truth is, no one can say that. No one sees what goes on and happens every day, no one sees anything. People think its so easy to go through all of this, and believe me its not.

its tiring, its so stressful, we argue all the time, its so tense, we get cranky, we snap, we fall out, we make, up, its a constant yo yo. Life doesn't get to be fun any more. Cancer takes over everything, your mind, your thought, your daily routine. People think its so easy to say "don't let cancer do that to you", but you have no control and even when you want to, it's impossible and it doesn't work.

Sometimes I just want to get up and leave, get back to my normal life, have a social life again, be a young adult, do what i'm missing out on, but at the same time i can't because Richard needs me. Its so easy for people to turn around and call em selfish, but unless your in my boat, you can't say a thing. No one has the slightest idea. We don't even get to have a normal relationship, its so complicated than people realise, nothing can be a normal relationship. its so hard, all the hospital trips, appointments, sudden illnesses, its just so unfair.