Richards seems to be doing really well so far, ESP since having his infusion on Tuesday. He's really tired at times but other than that he's pulling him self along nicely.
But we still have a long way to go yet and the thought of going to his next ct scan results is terrifying me. No matter how positive i am, I walrus have in the back of my mind- what if, what of it doesn't work and then what? I can they'll but think about it. It's so easy for people to say don't worry he will be okay- but really. No one knows, no one can say that because it's not true. Yeah he could be but with everything you that you go through you can't stand to hear that because like I said they don't know.
3 years has been a long time now. I can't even remember reall when we've really had the chance to have a normal relationship becAuse well, we've not. I've never really had the chance to really meet and hang out with Richards friends- half of them are getting married or have done and I don't know them. I feel like when we finally do- I won't know anyone that he does, I do a little bit but not enough, it's so Strange, I've almost forgotten what a normal life is. The past 3 years has been involved around hospital and doctors and so on. I guess that's my life now, and it always will be in a way. I think I'll struggle to finally come to terms with a normal life, as our relationship has entirely been based on his cancer- that's all I really know. I've know RichArd for years but never really hung out a great deal so, I don't know, I'm not sure if we'd be here today or if we'd still be together, or even got together if he hadn't had all this? My mind is terrible, it goes round and round like a yo yo- thinking of things that shouldn't even pop in to my head but unfortunately they do. Some people say I had a wild mind that I need to turn off sometimes.
But we still have a long way to go yet and the thought of going to his next ct scan results is terrifying me. No matter how positive i am, I walrus have in the back of my mind- what if, what of it doesn't work and then what? I can they'll but think about it. It's so easy for people to say don't worry he will be okay- but really. No one knows, no one can say that because it's not true. Yeah he could be but with everything you that you go through you can't stand to hear that because like I said they don't know.
3 years has been a long time now. I can't even remember reall when we've really had the chance to have a normal relationship becAuse well, we've not. I've never really had the chance to really meet and hang out with Richards friends- half of them are getting married or have done and I don't know them. I feel like when we finally do- I won't know anyone that he does, I do a little bit but not enough, it's so Strange, I've almost forgotten what a normal life is. The past 3 years has been involved around hospital and doctors and so on. I guess that's my life now, and it always will be in a way. I think I'll struggle to finally come to terms with a normal life, as our relationship has entirely been based on his cancer- that's all I really know. I've know RichArd for years but never really hung out a great deal so, I don't know, I'm not sure if we'd be here today or if we'd still be together, or even got together if he hadn't had all this? My mind is terrible, it goes round and round like a yo yo- thinking of things that shouldn't even pop in to my head but unfortunately they do. Some people say I had a wild mind that I need to turn off sometimes.
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